ringing in the new year

just a couple of hours until the ball drops; a couple of hours left of 2016 to do something for myself.

i have to be honest, new year’s eve has never really been one of my favourite holidays/occasions. but it also wasn’t/isn’t tied with any significantly meaningful memories, nor have i been approaching it with the best attitude. my family never really did anything special on the last night of the year, so it never really stood out for me… until i started seeing friends posting or snapping photos of themselves having the time of their lives at parties, with friends, at family gatherings, or just enjoying their life as is. maybe i was jealous that they were able to have fun, while i was stuck at home, having just another normally mundane day, feeling alone. i mean, december 31st is just another ordinary day. but just like for any day, i have the power and the choice to make it exceptional and my own.

last year, i spent new year’s eve curled up in bed, moping, and not even wanting to watch the countdown. i was not feeling it at all, and was quite indifferent and pessimistic about it too. let’s say i was bitter for the next 24 hours or so.

i thought the whole idea of making new year resolutions was a bunch of bs – why must some people require a big occasion to prompt them to set goals and reflect on their life? this could be – and should be – done every day. “new year, new me” was such a cliché thing to say, as only 8% of resolution-makers are successful in achieving their goals.

tonight, i sit here on my bed typing away.

for now.

a few hours ago, i felt myself once again spiralling down into that rabbit-hole trap of new year’s eve negativity and cynicism. another year spent at home, nowhere to go, no opportunity to go out and celebrate. i spent a good few hours just falling further down, until one of my best friends asked me:

“any ny resolutions?”

instead of acting upon the lingering negativity and shutting them down, i actually thought about it, and responded.

these are my new year “every-day-is-a-new-day” resolutions:

  • fitness goals – i’ve never been completely comfortable with my body – too skinny, need to gain weight; too much fat, need to lose weight; not enough muscle, not toned enough… it wasn’t a big problem, but i still wanted to do something about it. so once the new school term started in september, i did my best to incorporate fitness into my daily life. it was good, for a starter, but in order to achieve what i want, i needed to do more. so a couple days ago, i started daily exercises, fixing up a schedule, and watching my diet. and honestly, i’m starting to get addicted to it and the positive energy i feel afterwards (thank you, endorphins).
  • taking care of my mental health – 2016 has taken its toll on my mind a little, and i want to be able to beat the anxiety. my first step was to seek a counsellor for resources and advice, and then i started reading up on research and articles regarding mental wellness. my most recent final step has been installing wellness apps on my phone, as a way to keep track of my mental state, as well as to have useful resources and tools on-hand.
  • live in the moment – it comes with anxiety, the mind-wandering to and worrying about the past and the future. i guess what i meant by this resolution item is that i want every day to hold excitement and adventure, and a hint of unpredictability. i’ve always been a planner and a perfectionist, but the last couple of months i’ve been trying to break free of the ordinary, and try new things (whether it be going “clubbing”, being part of the musical theatre community again, exploring the streets of kitchener at night, performing at an open mic night, embracing the spirit of christmas in a fresh way, or having the courage to reach out to and socialize with people).

following that conversation (and with some food in my stomach), i was able to think and reflect upon the whole idea of new year’s eve more clearly. yeah, part of me still wishes i were partying it up with my friends somewhere, but just because i’m not doing what i wish i were doing doesn’t mean i should just be a downer. instead, i’m going to make the best out of the situation.

a resolution has two parts to it:

  1. a firm decision to do or not to do something
  2. the action of solving a problem, dispute, or contentious matter

… if you think about it but don’t act upon it, it is just a mere thought, or wish, not a resolution.

tonight, instead of moping around, i chose to open myself up and blog (taking care of my mental health).
and then decided to do my daily work out (fitness).
and after that, will make myself beautiful and grab a drink, while watching the countdown (live in the moment).

my three resolutions, and three things that make me happy.

so, tl;dr:

  • turn your new year wishes into new year resolutions by taking action
  • treat every day like it’s new year’s eve, because every day is a new day, and an opportunity to work towards that resolution
  • when you really dedicate yourself to working towards those goals, happiness will [hopefully] find you

happy 2017, friends! cheers!


update: yeah, that positive mindset really helped me through this year, so i’m happy to be ringing in 2017 with a smile. my favourite part about this whole thing isn’t the night before, nor the countdown, but what comes afterwards: friends and family sending and receiving well wishes to and from each other – that is what makes my heart warm. i wish everybody all the best ♡